Bits and Pieces?

In my post ‘Hallelujah‘, I wrote the following –

A memory from my many years of depression and one very low point of many –

The apartment is sparse, my kids are gone fulltime from my life, I am struggling financially and my mind, my thinking and actions seem to ruin everything and everyone, including myself.

The room is dark, I sit in a corner, crouched, lonely and crying profusely and asking God –


“Why are you putting me through this?  What did I do, that you want to punish me?”

“I can’t do this, I do not have the strength; I have lost everything and everyone that means so much to me.”

“Why, God?”

I grew up as Baptist and my grandmother was a very religious woman and lived her life as we all should.  I remember going to church with her when I was very young – but stopped attending when I became older.  Prior to my ‘depression’ years I did not have a relationship with God and today the relationship is different.

“How could you put me through this?”

“You are not a fair God?”

“They say you are a good God; but you cannot be, I don’t understand, I hate you!”

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In today’s post I write the following –

What do I know about religion?  Not much, except that I have been to church before.  What do I know about God?  Not much, except I guess I have some type of relationship with God or a God.  I currently do not go to church: I stopped attending many years ago.  My religious and/or spiritual believes have changed over the years.

But am I bits and pieces of God or a God?

When I talk and act or pray and think, is someone or something listening?

Do they or he or them or her keep an eye out on me?

Are all of us bits and pieces of God or a God?

The religion I grew up with taught me I was created in the image of God.  The religion I grew up with taught me we all are created in the image of God.  So does that mean God is all of us?  Or are we what we think God is?

Could my God and your God be one in the same?  Could we all be part of the God we believe in?

I ask many questions and have no real, definite answers. I stopped going to church many years ago and my relationship with God is different.

But am I bits and pieces of God or a God?

At times I talk with someone or something; is it God or a God?  I like to think whoever or whatever is listening, is really listening!

In my post ‘Life in a Petri Dish‘, I concluded with the following –

The more I ask, the more I do not know the answers.  So in the interim, while I am here in this world existing and struggling, I will continue to grow, attempt to gain an understanding, fight the good fight, and find a purpose.  I will leave this world someday and my hope is that God will say to me ‘You passed the test!’ or that something, someone that is greater than me will say ‘He was a good specimen.’ in the life in a petri dish.

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In today’s post, I conclude with the following –

Am I bits and pieces of God or a God?