drowning

14 years ago today, Gary and I met for the first time.

If you are interested in how we met, please take the time and read my post ‘The Hit – The Last Chapter‘.

We usually do not celebrate the anniversary of the day we met or the anniversary of our marriage.

We are happy we are together, though sometimes living in a small RV at times can be trying.

Sometimes, it seems being close together 24 hours a day in close quarters can appear like one is drowning.

Just kidding, I just thought that statement would be a good segue.

I will end this post with a song; to understand why I picked this song, you would need to read the above-mentioned post.

#MyFirstPostRevisited

My friend Tikeetha over at A Thomas Point of View tagged me to participate in the My First Post Revisited challenge.

This challenge was started by blogger Sarah Brentyn over at Lemon Shark.

Thank you Tikeetha for the nomination and Sarah for starting this challenge.

My First Blog Revisted

Here are the rules for this challenge –

No cheating. (It must be your first post. Not your second post, not one you love…first post only.)

Link back to the person who tagged you (thank them if you feel like it or, if not, curse them with a plague of ladybugs).

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Other rules –

Cut and paste your old post into a new post or reblog your own bad self. (Either way is fine but NO editing.)

Put the hashtag #MyFirstPostRevisited in your title.

Tag…um…five (5) other bloggers to take up this challenge.

Notify your tags in the comment section of their blog (don’t just hope they notice a pingback somewhere in their spam).

Feel free to cut and paste the badge to use in your post.

Include “the rules” in your post.

My First Post Revisited –

Published May 13, 2015 –

This is my very first post. What should I write that may be of interest to others?  Not much and then again maybe I do have many things I can write about.  I am an ordinary person, just like many others who live ordinary lives and do ordinary things.  I have many opinions about the everyday stuff, some important and some not so important.

The words I write, some readers may not like, others just will not read them, but others may find very interesting.  My words are my own and do not belong to anyone else.  The writing comes from me: my opinions, thoughts and ideas may change daily, over a longer period of time or never.

I will start soon writing about something and see where it goes from there.

In today’s post –

As you can see, that first post was quite boring and uninteresting.  I had an idea what I wanted to write about, and I had a goal to write 1 post each day for 1 year.  I achieved that goal and again decided year 2, I would write 1 post each day.  So far, so good as I near the completion of my year 2.

Many of you know me and my struggles, my strengths, my personality and my life.  In my writings, I try to be honest and not sugarcoat my posts.  I am human, I make mistakes and I have feelings and I in no way want to upset others – though I know I have – even as recently as the past couple of weeks.  I want to continue this blog because I have become friends with many wonderful people around the world.  But, there is a part of me that wants to give up and delete it all.  I remind myself the reasons for starting this blog to begin with, but I wonder at times if those reasons are still important.

Thank you again Tikeetha for nominating me for this challenge.  Although, I think my first post is stupid, I have come a long way in the past almost two years.  I have learned much about myself through this voyage called blogging.

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I am nominating these bloggers to participate in this challenge.  You are in no way obligated to participate, but it would be fun and interesting to read your very first blog.

Kathryn over at anotherfoodieblogger

Paula over at Never A Dull Bling

Sarah & Choppy over at Travels With Choppy

Marci over at What’s for Dinner Moms?

Osyth over at Half Baked In Paradise

Quite – Quiet

In my post ‘Of course, … a course‘, I wrote the following –

At times my brain sees and reads something different than what I write.  In past posts, I write about my learning disabilities as a child, my internal struggles with myself; it is all here on my blog somewhere.  I make mistakes, I have shortcomings, and I am no expert at writing.

In today’s post, I write the following –

Ages ago when I was in 7th or 8th grade, I remember taking a typing class.  Who remembers typewriters?

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Image Provided by: http://www.typewriters.us

I have no memory of when the last time I saw a real typewriter.  Do they even exist anymore?

I was very good at typing and could type over a 100 words per minute with very few if no mistakes.  Remember typewriters had no autocorrect and if you did make a mistake, there was always whiteout.  Who remembers whiteout?

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Image Provided by: http://www.nordisco.com

As I grew older and left the typewriter for a computer keyboard, my typing skills increased and others would be impressed with my abilities on a keyboard.  I would type away pounding on the keyboard as I was always a hard hitter on the keys; therefore, I had to replace many keyboards.

I had and still have a little bit of dyslexia.  At times when typing, when I want to use a certain word, the fingers on the keyboard often times will reverse letters or totally switch the order of letters.  Now that I am older this occurs more times than I like, but I correct my mistakes and move on.  The good thing about computers is I do not have to use whiteout.  So much easier to correct and less of a mess.  Plus, the bottle of whiteout would dry out too quick and it would have to be thrown away before the full bottle was used.

So, what does Quite and Quiet have to do with this post?

I quite often make mistakes when typing now, but usually catch them: sometimes I don’t, but usually I do.

I need quiet time to write my posts, because along with my dyslexia and other learning disabilities, I am unable to concentrate when there is noise, it distracts me.

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Image Provided by: slideplayer.com

I also quiet often will make mistakes when there is noise around me, I need my surroundings to be quite.

Did you catch that?

I did that on purpose this time – because this occurs often.

I am thankful my computer will help me correct mistakes and I do not have to use whiteout.

Turning 21

Today is the 21st month of my blog!  My anniversary post is something different than the usual posts I write.

Hum, 21 months……

wikpedia.org has the following –

Age 21 –

In several countries 21 is the age of majority.

In all US states, 21 is the drinking age.

In Hawaii and New York, 21 is the minimum age that one person may purchase cigarettes and other tobacco products.

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Image Provided by: Cleveland City Council

In some countries it is the voting age.

In the United States, 21 is the age at which one can purchase multiple tickets to an R-rated film. It is also the age to accompany one under the age of 17 as their parent or adult guardian for an R-rated movie.

In some states, 21 is the minimum age, persons may gamble or enter casinos.

In 2011, Adele named her second studio album 21, because of her age at the time.

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Image Provided by: Wikipedia

Hum, 21 years……

When I was the age 21: I was in my 3nd year of marriage.

When I was the age 21: I had been drinking for several years, 18 was the drinking age back then, it was changed to 21 after I had already turned 21 – lucky me.

When I was the age 21: I had been smoking for several years, I started at 16 and finally quit for the final time last year.

When I was the age 21: I most likely voted for the first time – I always wondered why I had to wait until 21 to vote, when I was required to register for the draft at age 18.

When I was the age 21: I have no idea what my first R-rated film I saw – the best top grossing R-rated film that year was ‘Stripes’ starring Bill Murray.

When I was the age 21: I do not believe I had gambled or been in a casino – I certainly have had my share of visits to a casino in the past several years.

When I was the age 21: I had no best selling album – but that year REO Speedwagon did, it was titled ‘Hi Infidelity’.

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Image Provided by: feelgrafix.com

Today is the 21st month of my blog!  My anniversary post is something different than the usual posts I write.

Damn You Pictures

In my post ‘Spending time away‘, I wrote the following –

While I am on one of the biggest ships, sailing the Atlantic Ocean visiting several Caribbean islands; my plan involves some days publishing a brand-new post and other days re-publishing an older post.  I wrote posts early in my blog that received little exposer and I consider them among others as interesting posts. I know I can reblog these posts, but decided instead to create a new post for each and give a different name to them.

I appreciate everyone taking the time to stop by, read and leave many wonderful comments.  My time away sailing and enjoying other activities will result in time offline and will prevent me from responding to the many wonderful comments I receive.  Therefore, I will be disabling the comments on many of my upcoming posts while spending time away.  There will be times I will have some time online and you will see me a little here and there on WP.  But, most of my time will be offline having fun, relaxing and enjoying the sun.

In today’s post, I write the following –

These words were originally published in June, 2015 –

The last several days I have not physically felt well resulting in my body and mind becoming fatigued.  Yesterday morning my partner left the home to run some errands and I sat in a recliner in our upstairs main room to relax some.  At this point, I have had minimal sleep in the past couple of nights and very little to eat in the last couple of days.  My body is exhausted and my mind is tired, lethargic along with feeling a little dizziness.

So while sitting in my recliner I stare at the pictures hanging on the opposite wall across from me.  These pictures display my partner and me not so many years ago at a younger and more youthful age; also are pictures of my sons and then there is the picture of my grandson and me.  As I continue to look at the pictures I think to myself about the relationship I would like to have with my sons.  I reflect upon the feelings I have concerning my failure as a father and most likely the failure as a grandfather.  And as the thoughts swirl through my mind concerning my partner dealing with my moods and my behaviors and that he still loves me and accepts me; I then start crying profusely.  I start crying profusely not because of these thoughts; not because of the people in my life and not because of the labels of failure I place on myself, but because the pictures on the wall are not hanging straight.  They are not hanging straight on the wall and this troubles me, damn it!

The anxiety and frustration of these pictures not hanging straight on the wall take me back to another time and another place.  I am taken back to my 20s with the same thoughts and reactions; my wife and I are having issues related to me needing to straighten the pictures.  As soon as I noticed a picture on the wall that was not hanging straight I would immediately have to correct it, it would drive me crazy if I did not.  And still today I sit here crying because the pictures on the wall are not hanging straight.  Forget my feelings of those important people in the pictures; what matters the most at this moment is the damn pictures are not hanging straight.

The end result is different today than in my 20s; even though I still struggle with the pictures on the walls not hanging straight, this time I did not attempt to straighten them, instead I wrote about it and left them as is!

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Online Presence Never Dies

My online presence will live forever – my online presence never dies.

Have you thought about what happens to our online presence once we have left this world?

Online presence: what happens to these when we are gone?

I have a Facebook account and a Twitter account and a Tumblr account and a YouTube account.  I have a Tripit account and another website currently parked – not being used at the moment but does include quite a bit of data.  I also have a WordPress account with a blogsite that includes writings, posts and pictures and media files of me and my life.

What happens to this online presence once I have left this world?

Will my online presence live forever – will my online presence die?

I have all the necessary documents prepared for when my life ends.  I have the Will, I have the instructions upon my death, it is all prepared.  The instructions state to delete all my online presence and to wipe away my existence.  First I think about, will this actually occur.  After all I am assuming whoever is left with this responsibility will actually delete my online presence.

Then I think about, if they actually delete my online presence, is it really deleted?  I assume, my online presence will be deleted someday.  I am hoping who is responsible for this follows through with my wishes.

But am I really deleted from online forever, never to have existed?  I really do not think so – I am there somewhere filed away in terabytes of data.  Maybe someday I will show up again or maybe just left there never to be seen or read or listened to again.  Why do I care, if I am already gone from this world?  After all I am dead, why do I care that I still live in the online presence world?

In my post ‘Legacy‘, I concluded with the following –

The book will most likely never be written, and I am okay with this realization – my autobiography, my memoir is this blog.

This blog is what I want to leave as a legacy; to my kids or whoever else is interested in reading about me and my life.

In today’s post, I conclude with the following –

I am not sure why I waste my mind on thinking about what will happen with this blog once my life has ended.  Why do I really care?  Part of me wants to leave something behind, a reminder I guess that I was here.  Part of me wants to leave nothing behind, as if I were never here.  This battle in my brain, in my mind is a struggle between my existence being one of worth or one of waste.

Why would I want to leave an online presence, an existence that was a waste?  Then again, that online presence, and existence may be worth something to someone, someday.

# 34, my ‘kid’!

In my post ‘will I cry or will I smile?‘, I wrote the following –

I do not really like Father’s Day!

Why, you ask?  Not because I dislike my father, no – it is because I dislike me as a father.

In today’s post, I write the following –

Guess who turns 34 today?  No not me, I wish!

Today is my son #1’s birthday.  Image1He turns 34 years old today!

Wow, seems like yesterday I was changing his diapers and burping him.  I have images in my mind of him dressed in cute outfits such as a little baseball one piece with the matching baseball cap.  I remember him sleeping on my chest the nights he had colic.  I remember feeding him, bathing him, taking him on vacations, spending time with him and helping him with his homework.

Those days are gone and a memory now.  Today he is doing those things because he has ‘kids’ of his own.  I call my sons, ‘kids’ – they will always be my ‘kids’, my sons.  But being in his mid-30s, I guess he is no longer a ‘kid’, but a man.  Yes, he is a man, but he is still my ‘kid’, my son.

So, today is my son’s birthday, and he is now 34.  Amazing!  Where did the time go?

For those of you have followed me for quite a while, you know I have struggled internally about my role as a father and as a dad.

After writing numerous posts last year about my role as a dad, my relationship with my sons and the feelings of disappointment in myself as a dad; I decided it was time to move on.  I decided it was time to move from thoughts and feelings that weigh me down and prevent me from going forward.  The past is the past and are embedded in memories.  I am unable to change those memories, but I can create new ones.

Image2So as I celebrate my son’s 34th birthday, I will also celebrate me moving on from the less than perfect father and the less than perfect dad.

Today is my son #1’s birthday.  He turns 34 years old today!  Yes, he is a man, but he is still my ‘kid’, my son.

Happy Birthday Son #1!

Happy # 34, my ‘kid’!

 

War, Wounded, Missing & Death

Last year I wrote a post ‘Memorial Day‘; and I began with the following words –

As a child it was a holiday and therefore not a school day.  I did not understand the true reason for Memorial Day.

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Image Provided by: shepfamilychiro.com

In today’s post, I begin with the following words –

timeforkids.com article ‘The Meaning of Memorial Day’ has the following –

The holiday got started on May 30, 1868, when Union General John A. Logan declared the day an occasion to decorate the graves of Civil War soldiers. Twenty years later, the name was changed to Memorial Day. On May 11, 1950, Congress passed a resolution requesting that the President issue a proclamation calling on Americans to observe each Memorial Day as a day of prayer for permanent peace and designating a period on that day when the people of the United States might unite in prayer. President Richard M. Nixon declared Memorial Day a federal holiday in 1971. Memorial Day is now observed on the last Monday of May. It is an occasion to honor the men and women who died in all wars.

Today is May 30th, 2016 – this United States holiday started 148 years ago today.

Last year I wrote a post ‘Memorial Day‘; and I concluded with the following words –

As an adult it is no longer a holiday, but a day to remember those that grieve for those that gave the ultimate sacrifice.  Those people that grieve and continue to remember those they lost in the United States armed forces and never returned back home to them, their loved ones.

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Image Provided by: http://www.usmemorialday.org

In today’s post I conclude with the following –

Businessinsider.com article ‘CHART: The Number Of US Soldiers Who Died In Every Major American War’ includes the following –

U.S. casualties spiked drastically during the Civil War and World War II. Each of those wars claimed over 1 million U.S. casualties apiece. These massive numbers carried further weight as the overall population of the United States during both those wars was significantly smaller than it is today. 

Overall, the general trend since the end of World War II has been a decline in U.S. casualties.

Still, according to the Pew Research Center, almost half of all veterans who served after 9/11 were exposed in some way to the horrors of war. Sixty percent of veterans have reportedly served with someone who was badly injured, while 47% of veterans served alongside someone who died in combat.

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Image Provided by: http://www.city-data.com

It saddens me to read about the millions of loss lives due to war.  It saddens me to think about the wounded, the missing in action, the families, the friends of those that were and are affected by war.

I guess war has always been and always will be part of life.

I take time today to honor those that lost their lives and their families; and think about peace throughout the world.

Home For Sale

The current home is officially on the market ready to be sold to its new owners, its new family.

The planning to retire and the planning to move have been an ongoing process for 6 years now.  You can read more about the locations visited in my post ‘These past 6 Years‘.  It was 10 months ago Gary and I decided to make another series of trips to Florida to find that next location for the next chapter is our lives.  The next location was found, the next home was found and now the current home is for sale.

But wait, you remember in my post ‘The Curveball‘, I wrote the following –

We thought Vero Beach was the next chapter, the final chapter.  And maybe it will be the final chapter, but not the next chapter.

In today’s post I write the following –

I will admit, as much as I am excited about moving forward, I am somewhat sad about leaving this current home.  13 ½ years, this house we have called home.  I still remember seeing this home and walking through the front door for the first time.  It only took a few minutes and I told Gary “This is it, this is the one!”  We had previously spent months viewing properties and this one immediately stood out and I knew it would be our home.

Many changes have taken place since that day; I have literally painted every room in this house with a few of them painted twice.  Within the first couple of years Gary and I spent long days designing and installing the landscaping.  Later years would bring an upgraded kitchen, upgraded master bathroom, and upgrades to all other bathrooms, new carpet, a pool makeover, a new patio and a new roof.

In the past year, events such as downsizing of possessions, minor maintenance repairs, decluttering and sprucing have taken place.  Gary and I are ready to move on: the time is right.

Now the waiting game takes place – waiting for the new owners who ever they are to view this home.  An open house will take place a week from Sunday, will the new owners come visit that day?  Or it may be the new owners will have a private view of this home, where they can talk freely about the future, their dreams and memories they want to create in this home.

Now the waiting game takes place – when will the new owners walk through the front door for the first time?

And when the future owners first walk through the front door, who knows maybe they will respond with “This is it, this is the one!”

Eleven Months Today – 56 Years Ago

Today is the 11th month of my blog!  My anniversary post is something different than the usual posts I write.

Today is Wednesday, 13 April 2016 and I born in this month of April, 56 years ago.  takemeback.to website has the following –

Wednesday, 13 April 1960

It was Wednesday, under the sign of Aries. The US president was Dwight D. Eisenhower (Republican). In that special week of April people in US were listening to The Theme From A Summer Place by Percy Faith. In UK My Old Man’s A Dustman by Lonnie Donegan was in the top 5 hits. The Fugitive Kind, directed by Sidney Lumet, was one of the most viewed movies released in 1960 while Advise And Consent by Allen Drury was one of the best selling books.

Here is some information about what was happening this day 56 years ago –

The movie ‘Please Don’t Eat the Daisies’ starring Doris Day, David Niven, Janis Paige was release 2 weeks earlier.  This later became a TV series in 1965.

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Image Provided by: en.wikipedia.org

The TV series ‘The Three Stooges Show’ starring Hal Fryar, Curley Myers, Larry Vincent.  This syndicated show became one of the popular comedy acts of the early 1960s.

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Image Provided by: en.wikipedia.org

On this day in 1960, The United States launches Transit 1-B, the world’s first satellite navigation system.

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Image Provided by: omgdgt.com

On this day in 1960, the #5 song on the music chart was Bobby Rydell – Wild One

On this day in 1960, France becomes 4th nuclear nation exploding an A-Bomb in Sahara.

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Image Provided by: nuclearweaponarchive.org

On this day in 1960, playing baseball at Candlestick Park, the San Francisco Giants beat the St. Louis Cardinals 6 – 1.

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Image Provided by: http://www.pinterest.com

What do all these interesting events and facts have to do with my blog – nothing, except –

Today is the 11th month of my blog!  My anniversary post is something different than the usual posts I write.