the PANIC visit

In my post ‘quality of life…. (or lack of it)‘, I wrote the following –

With the recent move to Tampa, Florida and change in healthcare, comes more doctor visits, appointments and more medications.

The transition to this area is a struggle with regards to finding new doctors and scheduling the appointments.

In today’s post, I write the following –

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One of the previous mentioned appointments was with a new dentist.  I was fortunate to see a new dentist within the first week because once my chemotherapy begins I should not be having any dental work.  There is always the possibility of an infection and during chemotherapy my white blood count is low and therefore more prone to infections.  So, my first visit with the new dentist was an examination that included the usual x-rays that resulted in me having a cavity.  I very seldom have cavities and was surprised to learn I had one.

Okay, two days later and another dentist appointment to take care of the cavity.  Before I write about this appointment, let’s go back about 14 hours –

It is the night before and I am experiencing a great deal of back pain.  I take pain pills and go to bed extremely early – around 7:00 PM.  I am unable to rest or sleep, so around 11:00 PM I am taking additional pills for pain and sleep.  I do finally receive some sleep, but the next morning, I am tired.

Early morning Gary and I depart for the dental appointment and I am excited about using a new smartphone app that I can use for street parking near the dentist office.

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I set the time and pay for two hours the maximum amount allowed.  Gary is also having a dental appointment the same time so, two hours should be enough time.  The dentist is running behind and I become a little nervous about the time, but I know I can extend it from my smartphone.  It is the first time I have used it, so I am a little nervous that maybe it will not work and I will receive a ticket.

Now I am sitting in a chair and receive my injection to numb my mouth.  Oh, did I mention I do not like to go to dentists?  I have Cancer and deal with appointments, procedures, IVs and blood tests – but going to the dentist makes me nervous.

Now I am at another dentist appointment to take care of the cavity – it is time – but the mouth does not feel numb.  The dentist decides to give me another shot.

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Within minutes, half my throat goes numb as does part of my vocal cords.  I am having trouble swallowing and breathing.  I request the staff to get Gary in the room – I need him.  The dentist thinks I may be having an allergic reaction to the lidocaine.  I am not allergic to anything – I receive an Epipen injection.

911 is called just in case there is an allergic reaction – but they are not needed.

I am having a panic attack as the throat is swollen, I am unable to swallow and breath and having difficulty speaking – I am also crying.

After some time to relax, I go through with getting the cavity fix because chemotherapy starts in 2 days.

I am glad I do not have to see the dentist again for another 6 months.

my denarian decade

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Today is the 18th month of my blog!  My anniversary post is something different than the usual posts I write.

Today is November 13, 2016.

I decided to go back to the year I was 18 years old – 1978.

On this day back in 1978, Time magazine Vol. 112 No. 20 was on newsstands.  Viewing it you find fascinating articles related to our Nation, Business, the World, Education and other topics.

As these are interesting topics, I found in this addition the article ‘Television: Once in Love with Mary’ under the Arts and Entertainment topic and it caught my attention.  The article begins with the following –

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Few TV performers are as durable or as justly adored as Mary Tyler Moore. During the past 15 years she has become an unpretentious symbol of sophistication in a medium where that quality is usually considered a punishable offense. As Laura Petrie, the slightly daft heroine of the classic Dick Van Dyke Show, Moore demonstrated that sitcom suburban housewives did not have to be domestic ninnies chained to a kitchen sink. With her easy wit and sturdy intelligence, almost single-handed she brought TV out of the Lucille Ball-Donna Reed era.

Okay, this post is not about Time magazine; though I did write an interesting post related to it – you are welcome to read it by clicking this link ‘Time to read Time‘.

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For those of you my age, you remember Mary Tyler Moore?  In my younger days I watched the Dick Van Dyke Show and The Mary Tyler Moore Show.  The Mary Tyler Moore Show was a popular television series in the 1970s.

Other popular actors in well-known television series of the 1970s included Alan Alda for M*A*S*H, Farrah Fawcett for Charlie’s Angels, Jimmie Walker for Good Times, Telly Savalas for Kojak and Ricardo Montalban for Fantasy Island.

You know here on my blog, I have a dedicated category titled ‘My 70’s Music Collection‘, where I post information about songs of the 1970s.  Many times I refer back to the 1970s in posts; I think because, these were my years of influence.  The 1970s were my years of innocence and puberty; and my teen years.  I spent the 1970s from the age of 10 to the age of 20 – my denarian decade.

yourdictionary.com has the following –

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denarian. Noun. (plural denarians) One who is between the age of 10 and 19, inclusive.

Back in the 1970s, I liked Mary Tyler Moore and many other actors of that day and still do today.  Thinking about them and the shows they starred in bring great memories of a time when life seemed simpler.

Today is the 18th month of my blog!  My anniversary post is something different than the usual posts I write.

the dark side

If it seems I have published lots of downer posts lately, well you are correct I have.  For the month of September, many of my posts are about my life with cancer and the impact it is having on me.  I struggle with my emotions in that I want to deal with it with a positive attitude.  But yet many times I do not, instead I allow cancer to dictate my moods and emotions toward the negative side – the dark side.

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I started chemotherapy the end of August and looking back at my posts in September I see a slide downhill into a dark hole of doom, gloom, despair, negativity and basically a living hell not only for myself, but Gary.  The one person here each and every day to help me is the one person I take my frustrations out on.  This easy going man is receiving the severe brunt response from a person who is allowing cancer to dictate the daily temperament.

So many of those posts in September reflect the transformation of a man once happy to now a man who seems lifeless at times.  September reflected the start of a phase that was unwelcomed and unfamiliar and came in with a vengeance.  This surge forced physical pain into my life, many blood samples, surgical procedures, chemotherapy treatments, doctor’s visits and hospital stays.  I was not ready for this whirlwind of change.

In September, I threw in a few positive posts and still others that were not related to the current happenings of the day.  I have always wanted my blog to be diverse in topics even though the main focus is my life.  But my life currently is focused on cancer and all that it entails.   I do not like that cancer is calling me toward the dark side or it may be that I do not like that I am allowing myself to be called toward the dark side.

I remind myself of that time decades ago and wrote about in my post ‘The Great Depression of the 1980s‘, which included these words –

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This decade evolved into depression, attempted suicides, a stay in a psychiatric hospital, and years of therapy and medications that carried into the next decade.

As a result of these issues I became very depressed to the point that it was difficult for me to get out of bed on some days.  I think I remember once staying in bed for up to 3 days with no desire to do anything.

In today’s post, I conclude with the following –

Decades ago I accepted the calling into the dark side and again today it calls me.  I allowed myself to be tempted and made steps toward the dark side; but I need to stop – because my life and more importantly Gary’s life is experiencing the evil of those steps.

September is over and the downer posts were published.  The change of the season is in the air; the crispness, the coolness, the change in color and the change in nature.  With these changes I to need to change also and my desire now is that my October change is from a step into the dark side to a step in the other direction.  A step into a bright side; brighter emotions, brighter moods and a positive brighter me to deal with cancer.

WP, I have to vent!

Can I be honest?

I always have been and will be honest here on my blog.  This blog is about me and my life and I try to keep my personal opinions about other ‘things’ from being revealed here.

But lately more accurately the past couple of months, WordPress has not been behaving favorable toward me.  WP, I have to vent.

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Can I be honest?

I do view my Stats every single day because I post every single day.  I log into my WP account and there in plain view are my Stats.  Interesting thing about Stats; they can have an impact on people at times.  I will not lie, they do have an impact on me some days, and other days they do not.  So then why am I writing a post about WP so I can vent?

I post every single day because it is a personal goal of mine.  I have other things I can do, but at this time in my life I am limited to certain activities for health reasons.  My planned travel adventures are on hold for a while and though I am parked in one spot for the unforeseen future, I limit myself to visiting places of interest.  I did this several weeks ago and ended up with a high temperature and in the hospital for 3 days.

I could take up crocheting, painting or another hobby that would entertain me and allow the creative side of me to be expressed.  But instead I write blog posts, which in turn brings much more back to me than I put into it.

Can I be honest?

WP, I am upset with you and I have to vent.  I post every day and for the past couple of months you decide that not all my posts will be displayed in your Reader.  Why is this?  I have researched the Support site and know about tags and categories and I have attempted to make changes per Support to fix this issue, but to no avail.  I know instantly when my posts are NOT displayed in the Reader because of those Stats.  Yes, I know, I know it is not all about Stats, but they do have an impact on me.  Why?

I do not use the Reader; I elected to receive an email when fellow bloggers publish a post, this is what works best for me.  But I realize that does not work best for others and they rely on the Reader for new posts.  Because WP is not always displaying my posts in the Reader, those Stats are looking unfavorably for me.

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I put great effort into writing posts; my heart, my soul, my emotions, my cancer and my life.  Blogging is MY hobby at this time in MY life and is important to ME.  I understand other bloggers and readers have busy lives and it is not always about me.  But WP, you need to give them the opportunity to decide if they want to read my posts or not.  You have on many occasions taken this opportunity away from them.

Can I be honest?

WP, I have to vent!

There are times I ask myself “Why waste my time writing and blogging?”  “WordPress does not care what I am posting, why should they care?”  “WordPress is free, and I should not be upset that many of my posts are not displaying in the Reader.”  “I am upset and at times just want to quit and delete this account.”

If this post is displayed in the Reader today and you read this, I have a question for you.  Have you encountered this issue before?  I am opened to your ideas and suggestions.

The Top Ten – ‘74

Today is the 14th month of my blog!  My anniversary post is something different than the usual posts I write.

Okay, since it is my 14th month, I decided to go back to when I was 14 and see what was taking place on this date.

14 years old – 1974 – 07/13/74

It was a Saturday, our President was Richard Nixon and not a whole lot of anything was occurring!  I researched thinking there must be something interesting about this day back in 1974!

But there were no events of interest!

So, I have no topic to write about?

Okay, fine what about the music topping the charts that day?

I must admit – this is some great music!

For your viewing and listening pleasure, I present to you the top #10 songs in the USA that Saturday of many years ago –

1. Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods – Billy, Don’t Be A Hero

2. John Denver – Annie’s Song

3. George McCrae – Rock Your Baby

4. Gordon Lightfoot – Sundown

5. The Hues Corporation – Rock The Boat

6. Elton John – Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me

7. The Righteous Brothers – Rock And Roll Heaven

8. Gladys Knight and the Pips – On And On

9. The Hollies – The Air That I Breathe

10. Anne Murray – You Won’t See Me

Do you have a favorite?

Today is the 14th month of my blog!  My anniversary post is something different than the usual posts I write.

Spring Cleaning

A week ago today was the first day of spring – well for me anyway.

almanac.com has the following –

Astronomically speaking, the spring equinox falls on March 19 or March 20, 2016. Here are all the Equinox times for North American time zones this year:

  • Saturday, March 19, 2016 at 9:30 PM PDT
  • Saturday, March 19, 2016 at 10:30 PM MDT
  • Saturday, March 19, 2016 at 11:30 PM CDT
  • Sunday, March 20, 2016 at 12:30 AM EDT

Did you know this is the earliest spring of our lives thus far?

Wikipedia.org has the following about spring cleaning –

Spring cleaning is the practice of thoroughly cleaning a house in the springtime. The practice of spring cleaning is especially prevalent in climates with a cold winter.

The term is also used metaphorically for any kind of heavy duty cleaning or organizing enterprise. A person who gets their affairs in order before an audit or inspection could be said to be doing some spring cleaning.

Are you doing any spring cleaning?

I am!

The home front has been in cleaning mode for many months now.  With the downsizing and the house going on the market to sale in less than a month, much cleaning has taken place.  There are closets that are totally empty and freshly painted; some touchup painting has taken place throughout the home, decluttering has taken place and detailed cleaning of inside and outside is currently in progress.

I decided I needed to do some spring cleaning on my blog site.  When I started my blog almost a year ago, I was not familiar with the usage of categories and I created more then I really needed to.  Me being the detailed organized person I am, I do have a word document and excel spread sheet that has all my past, current and future posts neatly associated to a topic related to me and my life.  My topics did not correspond with my blog site categories – until today.

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The past several weeks I organized my past posts and related them to a specific topic which now corresponds with the same category.  I then updated every single post with the new corresponding category.  I wanted to do this to make it easier for a reader to find a past post that corresponds with other posts.  If you are a new reader to my blog, the updated categories should help in finding related posts.  Hopefully I achieved this.  My new categories are ‘Attitudes, Feelings and Views’, ‘Meditation’, ‘My 70’s Music Collection’, ‘Past Events’, ‘Family Members’, ‘Thoughts From Years Past’, ‘Activities Occurring Today’, ‘Characteristics Of Me’, ‘Life Moving Forward’ and ‘Awards & Quote Challenge’.   You should be able to click a category from the above menu and now see the related posts.

Did you also notice a made a change to my blog site?  I wanted to update colors, background and fonts to liven it up a little as in the coming months I plan to change the focus of my blog.  More details on this change coming in the near future.

I hope you like the update – let me know your thoughts.  Oh, and happy spring!

 

Realtor, Trip, Sale

In my post ‘The ball is rolling’, I wrote the following –

As you know, several garage sales took place last year and additional ones are on the calendar for March.  With downsizing from a 3,800 sq. ft. home to a smaller one comes downsizing furniture and possessions.

In my post today, I write the following –

The additional garage sales took place the past 2 weekends and many items were sold and others are now being donated.

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This coming Monday, we leave for another trip to the next location that we will call home.  Unlike the past trips last year, this one we will fly and not drive.  This trip to our selected new location will be to search for resale homes and/or communities to possibly build a new home.  We most likely will not buy on this visit, but if we come across a property we feel is a perfect fit, then an offer could be made.  This trip’s main focus is to provide us a better idea of what is available that would best meet our criteria.  Our plan for now is to either buy a property once the current one is sold; whether a resale or new construction or to start the process of building a new home or we may decide ultimately to rent for a while until that next home is found.

The decluttering of the current home has taken place as well as minor maintenance projects, newly painted closets; with the garden and landscaping preparations for spring to be completed once we return from this next trip.  Now the whirlwind of activities will begin.

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This past Tuesday we met with our realtor to discuss details on listing our home next month.  Once we return from our trip, pictures will be taken of the house and the process to list it on the market will take place.  Once these pictures are taken, then additional selling of processions will take place as we continue to downsize.   At this point we are unsure as to how many possessions we will be taking with us – this decision will be determined with this next trip as we continue to explore our possibilities.

The goal at this time is to list the current property on April 15.  The market here in Dallas is great and we anticipate the property will sell quickly.  Once we have an offer, a decision will be made to sell the rest of our possessions or to move what possessions we still have to the new location.

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Yes, at this moment there are some questions that still need answers and determinations to be made.  The trip next week will help in resolving these and a clearer course of action will be available.

HS Memories – top entertainment

In my post ‘HS Senior Year Memories’, I wrote the following –

Part of the downsizing taking place is opening boxes in our upstairs storage and going through possessions of long ago.  Some of these possessions I have not viewed in many, many years.  Some items will need to be discarded, as they hold no value as a keepsake.  Other items will be kept a little longer until another day arrives that I will need to find a home for them, whether that be giving to my sons or the trash.  I realize it is difficult to just throw items and memories of long ago away, but not everything can be kept forever.

One item I came across was a book titled ‘memories’, I received specially for my high school senior year to record ideas, impressions, opinions, thoughts and comments.  This book includes personal data; including my senior picture, high school data, senior class data, class schedule, faculty information, clubs – activities – organizations; you get the idea.

I graduated high school in 1979 at the age of 19.  I married my high school sweetheart at age 18, therefore I was married my senior year of high school.

In today’s post I write the following –

One of the pages in this ‘memories’ book is titled ‘top entertainment’; I thought I would share with you some top entertainment back in 1979.

Top singers –

Donna Summer: She was popular during this time – remember disco was taking place in the late 1970s

Barry Manilow: I like Barry and his music

Rita Coolidge: Do you remember this singer

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Top songs –

Last Dance & Heaven Knows: Donna Summer sung these

Your Love is Lifting Me Higher: A song by Rita Coolidge

Hopelessly Devoted to You: Who can forget this song by Olivia Newton John

Top performers who had concerts in my area –

Rita Coolidge and Chris Christopherson: Yes they performed together; Chris is not one of my favorite singers

Doobie Brothers: ‘What A Fool Believes’ was popular in 1979

England Dan and John Ford Coley: ‘Love is the Answer’ a popular song in the 70s

Charlie Pride: ‘Help Me Make it Through the Night’ was a popular song

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Top movies –

Grease: did you see the live version several weeks ago on network television – I thought it was good

Saturday Night Fever: Classic

Ice Castles:  This movie will make you cry

Towering Inferno: This was a good movie for its time

Other Side of the Mountain: This movie was released in 1975

Thank God it’s Friday: A movie related to disco

Chicken Chronicles: This movie starred Steve Guttenberg

Foul Play: Who can forget Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn – I miss those 2 together

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Top TV programs –

Real People: Reality TV program in the 1970s, yes reality TV was around back then

Vegas: This starred Robert Urich, who remembers him

Charlie’s Angels: Everyone knows this TV program

The Incredible Hulk: The program starred Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno

Fantasy Island: “Da plane! Da plane!”

Love Boat: I miss captain Stubing, doctor Briker, the bartender Isaac, Gopher, Julie and Vicki

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Interesting how times change regarding top entertainment.

In the future I will post about fads & fashions, events of the years, and a few other odds & ends.

 

 

 

 

Life is like a

We go to school to learn, to grow, to understand, to become, to expand our mind, to express our thoughts and to move forward.

We start school not knowing much at all, then as our minds expand with knowledge, so do our desires, our dreams and our abilities.

Is life like a school?

In life we learn, we grow, we understand, we become, we expand our minds, we express our thoughts and we move forward.

We start life not knowing much at all, then as our minds expand with knowledge, so do our desires, our dreams and our abilities.

Life is like many things other than a school.

What about life is like a highway?

What about life is like a game?

What about life is like a box of chocolates?

These things are related to learning; we learned in school, we had to learn to drive on that highway, we had to learn to play the game, and I guess you could learn to like chocolates.

What else can we relate life to?

Life is what you make it – life is meaningless – life is messy – life is not pickles and hairspray (really?) – life is not fair – life is just a bowl of cherries – life is just a fantasy – life is ruff – life is too short – life is but a dream – life is beautiful

I think life is what we make of it.  Whether it a boat, a camera, a bowl of cherries, a fantasy, a dream, a box of chocolates, a game, a highway or a school – life is what we make of it.

For me I view my life is like a school; I am here to learn something and then I will take the most difficult exam to see if I know those lessons that were given to me.  Will I make an ‘A’ on the exam?

Will I pass the grade and move forward to the next?  What do I have to do to make that ‘A’?  What if I fail?

In this school of life, I am learning, growing, understanding, becoming, expanding, expressing and moving forward.

This may sound pessimistic, but I have always thought that day I make an ‘A’ on my exam, will be the day I die.

The day I die, I will graduate the school of life and not knowing what is next; I will take with me all those lessons, those tests, those teachers, those classes, those failings and those passes.

I will take with me the knowledge that was provided for me in this life, and know I did my best to learn.

Then again, maybe life is like a rollercoaster or like a mirror or like a book or like a sailboat or like a mountain.

Maybe instead of thinking about that exam at the end of school, I should be thinking about the now.

Life is what we make of it – let us enjoy it while we are here – maybe life is like a highway?

 

So much to do…

So much to do, so little time –

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Preparing for a future move – planning needing to take place to achieve this, what to do with furniture and other things in the house when we downsize, but I have to prepare the yard for the winter months

Preparing the yard for the winter months – I need to make a schedule of when to trim and cut plants back, but I need to prepare for a future move and I have another trip next month to plan

Preparing for a  future trip next month – I need to research specific locations in a different state, who will watch the house when we are away, what about the dog, but I need to prepare the yard for the winter months and I need to plan for a future move, but I have to write posts for my blog

Preparing to write posts for my blog – I need to write, write and write my posts for my blog, but I need to research and prepare for a future trip and when will I trim and cut plants back for the winter months, but I need to plan for a future move, oh and what about the holidays

Preparing for the holidays – OMG, I have to visit my family, and then visit the partner’s family, but I need to write my posts for my blog and prepare for a future trip, but when will I trim and cut plants back for the winter months and prepare for a future move and then there is another garage sale

Preparing for another garage sale – there is another upcoming garage sale – when will I get this stuff ready, OMG the holidays are approaching and I will be visiting families, I have to plan a future trip, but what about the future move, when will I have time to prepare, and the writing my posts for my blog, but I have the plants that need to be trimmed and cut back for winter

So much to do, so little time