No Response

My category ‘Pictures & Stories’ are posts with me writing a fictional, creative short story about a picture.

No Response

No Response –

Geo had moved to the new city just a few months ago.  As he walked down the street he thought that was him.  But years had passed since their last encounter and it did not end as planned.  He was standing there reading the paper, minding his own business.  Geo wanted to stop, but the years had passed; did that time heal the wounds?

Would he still hold hard feelings?

Geo had to take the chance, it may not come again.

As Geo walked toward him, he did not move, and gave no sign that anyone was approaching.  Geo placed his hand on his should and the chatting began.

There was no response and there would be none.

loved many dogs – a Visual Recite

I have added a new category to my blog titled ‘a Visual Recite’.

I have taken many pictures over the years and I share them with you with a recite.

loved many dogsloved many dogs –

“Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love, they depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog, it merely expands the heart. If you have loved many dogs your heart is very big.” 

– Erica Jong

That Decision

In my post ‘Months not Years‘, I wrote the following –

Following my hospital stay, I had a visit with my Oncologist Dr. L. to discuss my options.  One option was to do nothing and the other option was immunotherapy.

Image2

Image Provided by: moffitt.org

Concerning immunotherapy; any type of positive results is only about 15% – meaning 15% of participants will receive some type of response.  The response would be the slowing down of the progression of cancer to other parts of the body and/or stopping or slowing down the growth of the cancer cells.

So, I asked Dr. L. the question; how many years would my life be extended, if there were a positive result?  His response was that we are talking about months, not years.

In today’s post, I write the following –

Tecentriq is the immunotherapy drug that I am receiving.  In 2 days, I will receive my 2nd immunotherapy treatment.  The current treatment plan involves me receiving immunotherapy through IV every 3 weeks.  Upon the completion of my 3rd treatment, a scan will be performed to help determine the effectiveness on my treatment.

image2

The results of that scan may not provide enough information to determine if the treatment is working or not.  Another treatment round may be needed to determine the effectiveness – meaning 4 additional treatments then another round of scans.  If no determination is made in late August, then October will be the next time to make a possible decision.

What am I referring to when I write decision?

Since my first clue there was something wrong with me back on September 4, 2015; much has taken place.  This journey started with a discoloration in my urine.  Friends who have followed me for a while, know what has taken place since then.  Through all the tests, procedures, surgeries, treatments and appointments, one thing has stayed consistent.

The one thing that has stayed consistent, will play a major role in that decision.

That one thing that stayed consistent is my cancer has been aggressive in spreading.  That decision will be whether to proceed with treatments or let the cancer take its course.

I will be honest; I have always been honest here on my blog and at times blunt and direct.  In a couple of months, 20170416_194313 (2)I will be making that decision. Currently my days are filled with pain, and little activity due to my health issues limiting many things I can do.  Many days I remain positive and hold on to a glimmer of hope this immunotherapy treatment will respond with positive results.   Then there are a few days; I am ready to stop everything and let the cancer take over and seal my fate.

Currently the positive days outnumber the negative days.  As the days come and go, the date for that decision nears.

Months not Years

In my post ‘something changes direction‘, I wrote these words –

The results of the CT Scan and MRI came back with additional bad news.

My cancer has now spread into my bones and spine as well as additional Lymph Nodes.  It was only one month ago I had scans performed and these areas were clear and displayed nothing out of the ordinary.  The doctors are amazed at how quickly my cancer has spread.

So, what comes next?

image3

Image Provided by: WallpapersCraft

In today’s post, I write the following –

It was about 3 weeks ago, I received the news my cancer had spread into my bones, spinal cord and additional Lymph Nodes.

Following my hospital stay, I had a visit with my Oncologist Dr. L. to discuss my options.  One option was to do nothing and the other option was Immunotherapy.  Concerning Immunotherapy; any type of positive results is only about 15% – meaning 15% of participants will receive some type of response.  The response would be the slowing down of the progression of cancer to other parts of the body and/or stopping or slowing down the growth of the cancer cells.

Image2

Image Provided by: flickr.com

So, I asked Dr. L. the question; how many years would my life be extended, if there were a positive result?  His response was that we are talking about months, not years.

It is mid-July and sometime in late August scans will take place to compare to previous ones.  What will they reveal?  Any changes?  We will find out soon enough and further decisions will be made.

Whatever those results and decisions, my time is limited to months not years.  I know this and Gary knows this as does my family.

20170416_194313

I will continue to write and publish posts until it comes a time I am unable to do so.

something changes direction

From my post ‘turning point‘, I concluded with the following –

Upon having my initial appointment with the Supportive Care Medicine, the main doctor, Dr. C., immediately wanted to place me in the hospital due to the extreme pain level and the lack of quality of life.

So, after waiting several hours just to be admitted that were becoming unbearable for me, finally a bed became available and the start of my 7 days would begin.

This is a turning point that Gary and I were looking for that would change the course of my treatment.

Image1

Image Provided by: BYUtv

More to come my friends in future posts to explain so much more.

From my post ‘critical point‘, I wrote the following –

Upon admittance into the hospital, the Supportive Care Medicine team of doctors wanted to change my pain medications and run scans to determine the sources of the difference pains I feel daily.

First, a CT Scan with contrast was performed with Dr. C. specifying thoracic, abdominal and pelvic areas.  As part of this CT Scan, he requested the right groin area be included.  My right groin for the past several weeks has been causing me severe pain.

Second, Dr. C. ordered a full body MRI specifically on the spine.  He wanted to determine if anything out of the ordinary regarding nerves was obvious.

Image4

bezboleznej.ru

In today’s post, I write the following –

Dictionary.com has this definition –

turning point

noun

  1. a point at which a decisive change takes place; critical point; crisis.
  2. a point at which something changes direction, especially a high or low point on a graph.
  3. Surveying. a point temporarily located and marked in order to establish the elevation or position of a surveying instrument at a new station.

Based on my admittance into the hospital, changes to my pain medications, tests and results – there are 2 turning points.  This is turning point 2 –

The results of the CT Scan and MRI came back with additional bad news.

My cancer has now spread into my bones and spine as well as additional Lymph Nodes.  It was only one month ago I had scans performed and these areas were clear and displayed nothing out of the ordinary.  The doctors are amazed at how quickly my cancer has spread. 

So, what comes next?

Following my hospital stay I met with my Oncologist Dr. L. and we decided I would start with Immunotherapy treatment due to my cancer being wide spread.  The Immunotherapy treatment will start immediately.

Image2

The news I received about the test results, honestly, I kind of expected.  I know my body and my body has been telling me something for a while now.

Time Marches On

There is a country song by Tracy Lawrence with the title ‘Time Marches On’.

The song is about a family that through the years they grow into different people and everything changes.

Everything changes, nothing is constant and time marches on.

image2

Image Provided by: paulbarford-heritage-the-ruth.blogspot.com

Here are some lyrics from the song ‘Time Marches On’ –

The south moves north, the north moves south

A star is born, a star burns out

The only thing that stays the same is

Everything changes, everything changes

It is interesting to think about everything changes, nothing is constant and time marches on.

With my health, Gary takes care of me because everything changes, nothing is constant and time marches on.

Gary is retired from the military after 22 years of service and uses the VA (Veterans Administration) system of all his health care.  His home VA hospital for many years was in Dallas, Texas.  When we moved last year to temporally live in Pensacola, Gary was not ready to change his location.  Now that we moved my healthcare to Tampa, Florida, Gary has now changed his VA hospital to this location as well.

Gary recently has been having some health issues of his own because everything changes, nothing is constant and time marches on.

Recently Gary had an appointment with his Primary Care Manager Doctor at the VA hospital.

From that visit, referrals were placed for him to see specialists for conditions he suffers from.  He rarely complains about the way he feels; unlike me.  He may not have health issues as significant as me, but they are just as important.  He needs to take care of himself while also helping me.  I need to take care of myself while also helping him.

Because we both have changes in our body, health and lives, we recently had a conversation about us changing over the years.

Our lives are much different than what we thought they would be.  Our bodies are much different than what we expected them to be.  Everything changes, nothing is constant and time marches on.

(NOTE: I am expected to be released from the hospital today.  Look for upcoming posts about the events of the past 11 days.)

so Late so Soon?

Image1

Image Provided by: Recipes for the EFL Classroom

The last several days have proven to be time consuming for me.

I published a post yesterday and yesterday did not respond to comments.

How did it get so late so soon?

The last several days many activities have taken place.

I promise to about in future posts.

Be patient with me as I slowly catch-up on comments.

Be patient with me as I slowly catch-up on reading your posts.

Unknown

Image Provided by: creatoratlarge.com

for as long as possible

Last Friday’s post ‘10+‘, I wrote the following –

Image1

Crazy Things My Brain Says – blogger

The pain in my right groin area has increased. This first started with just an occasional pain and now is constant.  This groin pain as well as my other pains is affecting my walking, sitting and standing and I have extreme difficulty sleeping at night.  I currently am experiencing many different pains daily and they are all becoming worse.

My current cancer, pain and health condition were discussed with the Radiation Oncologist Dr. M.

This past Monday’s post ‘simulation then radiation‘, I wrote the following –

You may remember from my post ‘Looking for Pain Relief‘, I mentioned my 2nd appointment with Pain Management, I will receive a Superior Hypogastric Nerve Block.

Image3

Image Provided by: ainsworthinstitute.com

The reason for this procedure is due to the increase pain in my groin area.  This procedure is also more precise in blocking nerve pain in the pelvic region.  This procedure will be a ‘simulation’; meaning temporary, and if it seems to work, then another procedure will take place for long acting pain relief.

This first ‘simulation’ procedure is scheduled for this Friday.

My hope is between this procedure and the radiation treatment, I can finally find some relief to this incredible pain I have experienced for months now.

In today’s post, I write the following –

It is Friday and today is the day I am looking for pain relief – today is the day I receive my Superior Hypogastric Nerve Block procedure.  I certainly will update you next week with how I feel and the results of this procedure.

Image2

Image Provided by: Emedicine Medscape

Next Monday I start my radiation treatments; another potential for pain relief.  I have no expectations concerning the radiation, except I want something good to come from it.

This past Tuesday, I had an appointment with my Oncologist Dr. L. and we discussed my future treatment once the radiation is completed.  It was decided I would begin immunotherapy with a drug called ‘Tecentriq’.  This drug has recently been approved by FDA and can provide people hope of living longer.  Though this immunotherapy treatment only has a success of extending a longer life of 10% to 15%.  This is a higher rate than some chemotherapy drugs.

This treatment uses my own immune system to help in slowing the tumor growth.  I will receive a treatment once every three weeks for four cycles upon which a scan will take place to determine if the immunotherapy is working or not.  Upon the results of the scan will determine what will take place next.  Either the immunotherapy will be working or not – time will tell.

There are always side effects to any drug, and Tecentriq is no exception.  20170416_194313 (2)Since this affecting my immune system, my normal healthy tissues and organs can be attacked as well.  I also can experience the usual side effects of nausea, loss of appetite, constipation and tiredness.

As mentioned in previous posts, I will again remind everyone.  There is no cure to my cancer and the treatments I am receiving are to extend my life for as long as possible.

Another Early Rise

Another early rise, another day to live

The pain never left from the night before and continues to dominate

But, I again bring in another early rise, another day to live

image2

Image Provided by: http://www.drweil.com

Will today be any different from yesterday or one of a repeat

Months of pains that have increased to a point of hatred

Nevertheless, I again bring in another early rise, another day to live

image2

Image Provided by: Lost Plots

There are the pills that have increased over the past weeks and months

There are patches, and creams and tolerance and adjustments

Yet, I again bring in another early rise, another day to live

image1

Image Provided by: Wonderful Engineering

As the weeks have turned into months, the weak has turned into strength and acceptance

The upcoming weeks and months, I hope for change and less tears

So, I again bring in another early rise, another day to live

image2

Image Provided by: paulbarford-heritage-the-ruth.blogspot.com

What is it that wakes me, gets me up, moves me, takes me to a new day

Despair, Hope, Struggle, Journey, Brightness, Future, Unknown, Overcome, Strength, Desire

Once more, I again bring in another early rise, another day to live

image1

the PANIC visit

In my post ‘quality of life…. (or lack of it)‘, I wrote the following –

With the recent move to Tampa, Florida and change in healthcare, comes more doctor visits, appointments and more medications.

The transition to this area is a struggle with regards to finding new doctors and scheduling the appointments.

In today’s post, I write the following –

Image1

Image Provided by: ateachingmommy.com

One of the previous mentioned appointments was with a new dentist.  I was fortunate to see a new dentist within the first week because once my chemotherapy begins I should not be having any dental work.  There is always the possibility of an infection and during chemotherapy my white blood count is low and therefore more prone to infections.  So, my first visit with the new dentist was an examination that included the usual x-rays that resulted in me having a cavity.  I very seldom have cavities and was surprised to learn I had one.

Okay, two days later and another dentist appointment to take care of the cavity.  Before I write about this appointment, let’s go back about 14 hours –

It is the night before and I am experiencing a great deal of back pain.  I take pain pills and go to bed extremely early – around 7:00 PM.  I am unable to rest or sleep, so around 11:00 PM I am taking additional pills for pain and sleep.  I do finally receive some sleep, but the next morning, I am tired.

Early morning Gary and I depart for the dental appointment and I am excited about using a new smartphone app that I can use for street parking near the dentist office.

Image2

Image Provided by: Christian Science Monitor

I set the time and pay for two hours the maximum amount allowed.  Gary is also having a dental appointment the same time so, two hours should be enough time.  The dentist is running behind and I become a little nervous about the time, but I know I can extend it from my smartphone.  It is the first time I have used it, so I am a little nervous that maybe it will not work and I will receive a ticket.

Now I am sitting in a chair and receive my injection to numb my mouth.  Oh, did I mention I do not like to go to dentists?  I have Cancer and deal with appointments, procedures, IVs and blood tests – but going to the dentist makes me nervous.

Now I am at another dentist appointment to take care of the cavity – it is time – but the mouth does not feel numb.  The dentist decides to give me another shot.

Image3

Image Provided by: Holistic Health & Living

Within minutes, half my throat goes numb as does part of my vocal cords.  I am having trouble swallowing and breathing.  I request the staff to get Gary in the room – I need him.  The dentist thinks I may be having an allergic reaction to the lidocaine.  I am not allergic to anything – I receive an Epipen injection.

911 is called just in case there is an allergic reaction – but they are not needed.

I am having a panic attack as the throat is swollen, I am unable to swallow and breath and having difficulty speaking – I am also crying.

After some time to relax, I go through with getting the cavity fix because chemotherapy starts in 2 days.

I am glad I do not have to see the dentist again for another 6 months.